When You Mourn The Loss Of A Person, Are You Sad For Them Or For You?

The loss of a person is something very common in our lives. In fact,  if there is anything safe in this life, it is that we will someday die.

While in some cultures they commemorate death, in others it is considered a person’s liberation, in ours, death represents a disgrace.

Sadness, frustration, anger…all these and many more feelings hold us back from the inside. Sometimes, if that doesn’t happen, we even feel bad.

But…. Is it that when we mourn the loss of a person  are we more sad for ourselves than for them? Today we will give an answer to this question.

Rejection in the face of the loss of a person

It’s curious to think about how we reject something that has no possible solution.

On many occasions we talk about accepting the adversities of life, those toxic people who will not change and those mistakes that we constantly make.

We try to accept it all. But why don’t we accept death?

Let’s imagine that a loved one has died due to an illness, cancer, for example. This is a very painful and destructive disease and sometimes there is no way out.

However, even though it is natural to feel sad and melancholy, many people accept this ending as something positive.

Rejection in the face of the loss of a person comes from something much deeper. A selfish feeling  that invades us and makes us think only of ourselves.

loss and dependence

There is a kind of link between loss and emotional dependence.  In couples, this leads to destructive relationships; in loss, to a relationship of self-destruction.

We suddenly feel unable to live without this person and that’s what really suffocates us. It doesn’t sadden us that the person has gone, but that he has left us alone.

This thought is most selfish, mainly because your emotions are controlling you. We know better than anyone that once this is over, we go on with life.

Without a doubt, the worst attitude of all is the denial of loss,  the rejection of death. Is there any point in imposing ourselves on what is a fact?

However, running away from death is not an option, nor is it a positive thing. It’s something you’d better accept because, in the end, she’s the one who wins.

life doesn’t ask for permission

Life won’t ask for permission to take the one you love the most. When you least expect it, you will snatch the essence of the person most important to you.

The consequences of this can be devastating if you haven’t learned to take it for granted. If you take refuge in your pain, you feed it and begin to believe that you can’t move on.

Life is not responsible for how you feel, how bad everything has been since that person left you. It is solely your responsibility to accept things as they are.

Talk about death bluntly, stop considering it taboo, avoid feigning sadness because otherwise you’ll feel bad…

It may be that a loved one dies and you are  happy that the great malaise that plagued you is over. Maybe he doesn’t cry so much or dramatize his sadness because he knows how to accept death.

It is important not to get carried away by what society imposes on us.  Absurd beliefs that sometimes cause us grief and invite us to suffer gratuitously.

The non-acceptance of death, possession in the relationship or error as a synonym for failure are some of the things we have taken for granted. Looking at them differently sometimes makes us feel like bad people.

However, death is something natural and we should not rebel against what will one day happen to all of us.