I’ll Always Prefer To Hear The Truth, Even If It Hurts

The truth is, without a doubt, conviction and inner balance, especially in love relationships. There are those who do not practice it even for themselves, but it is necessary that we can offer it on a daily basis, always with respect, to encourage coexistence with others.

There are those who want half-truths. There are those who prefer lies that comfort. However, living in falsehood or half-lie, little by little, brings a feeling of unhappiness.

“I want the truth, even if it hurts”.  We’re sure you’ve also said this out loud at some point, and that even if you’ve internalized it, we should always think that the truth will help us turn the page and move forward.

Therefore, today, in our space, we will reflect on this.

The truth to close cycles, personal steps

The truth is needed to close the personal steps. Let’s see through a common example: a person who is in a relationship feels that affection is no longer the same, that gestures are no longer authentic. However, out of fear of loneliness and fear of facing reality, he pretends that nothing is happening.

Intuiting, seeing and feeling something negative and not being able to say it out loud is a mistake. Not just because it “stagnates” but because it prolongs the suffering or discomfort.

It is always necessary to ask for the truth, and even more in affective matters. It’s the only way to maintain personal integrity and face the situation:

• Preferring false truths or words that comfort will only prolong a situation that, sooner or later, will get worse. And that can be very negative for our emotional health.
• The truth brings us face to face with evidence that something has to be assumed.
• The truth allows us to gain integrity. And, although it can sometimes hurt, it always teaches us something that allows us to devise our own strategies to continue living with courage and integrity.

• People need the truth in relationships (generally, not just as a couple) to know if it’s worth keeping a bond or, better, letting go and healing the wounds to move on.

Why are there people who don’t speak the truth?

Psychologists comment that when people resort to lies, it’s basically out of fear:

• Fear of revealing any information that might upset others.
• Afraid of losing what we have now.
• Fear of possible consequences.
• Concern that others will discover that we are not what they expected.

All of these are situations that, maintained over time, can greatly erode the self-concept. Therefore, it is necessary to resolve them in a healthy way.

The truth is a double-edged sword

It is true that it is always necessary to tell the truth, however, when there is no respect, it can be a double-edged sword. So the key is to communicate it clearly, but never disrespectfully.

There are people who pride themselves on being very sincere, direct and never “keep their mouth shut”. This often turns the communicated truth into a double-edged sword.

The secret to transmitting the truth, without punishing the other, is to maintain an attitude of respect and balance. For this, it is necessary to take into account that:

• It is necessary to understand the truth as an instrument of coexistence that allows us to grow, assume reality and foster respect.
• The truth cannot be used as a form of aggression. Nobody can walk around the world revealing who are the people they don’t like, who have an unpleasant odor, who can’t stand it, who find it ridiculous, etc.;
• We must also bear in mind that, in certain areas, each of us has our own truth. “I think political party X is the best” (when in reality it may be the best for you, but not for others).

At times the truth has many nuances, as far from being a universal entity, it is something very particular. And that is why we must use it with respect, balance and, above all, maintaining integrity.

never say otherwise than you think

This is another essential element: To maintain good self-esteem, never make the mistake of saying the opposite of what you think to please others. It’s a way to fall into unhappiness.

We are clear that the truth should NEVER be used as an instrument of aggression and that, on some occasions, it is convenient to “soften” it a little, choosing the right words.

Respect is always essential

Instead of telling a co-worker “I can stand you less and less. You’re a selfish person who talks all day and doesn’t let anyone work” , you can say “Please let’s focus more on the task and less on personal issues. Lately I’m having difficulties to work and I would like to have a little more silence in order to make progress”.

As you can see, the idea remains the same. But the message is conveyed with respect, without punishing with words or gestures and emphasizing a need: to work in harmony.

Telling the truth helps turn the page

So if you don’t like the food your in-laws cook for you every weekend, convey that message with respect or you’ll end up with indigestion.

On the other hand, if you don’t like the way your boss treats you, react. Sooner or later, he may even worsen the form of treatment, as he will see that his resistance is very high. And if you have any differences with a co-worker, come closer and talk calmly. Don’t let the discomfort go, as this will only intensify the feeling.

And on a more personal level, remember: if you don’t love your partner, tell him and don’t prolong a situation that, sooner or later, will do both of you more harm. The truth, expressed with respect, is necessary for everyone.